


Pear-shaped misunderstanding

by Alienor_Gauthier



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Arguing about pears, But it's not really about the fruit, Dialogue-Only, Gen, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Post-Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-31 01:39:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19415830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alienor_Gauthier/pseuds/Alienor_Gauthier
Summary: Didn't the angel like pears ? What changed ? One particular demon can't help but wonder.





	Pear-shaped misunderstanding

\- ...and today's dessert is our delicious pear-pie, with fresh fruits from our own orchard ! No pesticides, just a lot of love !  
\- Oh, actually, I had my eye on the crème brulée...  
\- Sure thing. It's also delicious, had one myself when the cook wasn't looking, so that's not just empty praise but don't tell him. The stealing one part, not the praise part, I mean. What will it be for you, sir ?  
\- I'll take the pie, thanks.  
\- I'll get back to you in a few with you order !  
\- Did you just take a dessert with "lot of love" ?  
\- Nobody is watching anymore, I can do undemony things if I want. Also : did you just didn't ? I thought you liked pears !  
\- Ah, I used to, that's true.  
\- You "used to" ? What did they do to you since then ?  
\- I guess my taste evolved... Don't make this face, you are hardly in the right place to judge : your likings are never the sames from one century to the next.  
\- Yes, but that's usually not _your_ case. You still eat oysters like they cooked them in Rome, for Somebody's sake.  
\- Why are you so distressed over such a small matter, my dear ?  
\- I'm not _distressed_. Like I wouldn't get disstressed if the sun suddenly rised from the west. Feels more like... weirded out.  
\- Don't you think that's just a tad bit exaggerated ?  
\- You just turned down something with _love_ in it. Who are you and what have you done with my Angel ?  
\- Your- *sigh*. Alright, if you absolutely must know... It reminds me of that fight we had in 1862 and it's not a good memory so...  
\- We had hundreds of fights, Angel. What was so special about that one ?  
\- ...Why do you care so much about that fruit anyway ? That cream brulée did look good, I told you so when they brought one to the table next to us earlier.  
\- It's not about the fruit. It's about you being evasive about the fruit. What was that fight about again ?  
\- ...  
\- Ok now _you_ are making faces. 1862... Was it- was it the holy water ?  
\- …  
\- It was, wasn't it ? Are you still hung up on that ?  
\- ...It really hurt, that you would ask that of _me_.  
\- Who else was I gonna ask ?  
\- Preferably nobody, but especially not _me_. How do you think I would have felt, If you had erased yourself with something _I_ gave you ? It would have been like I killed you myself !  
\- What- I told you I needed it for insurance, you didn't really thought... You did ! What the heavens, Angel ?!  
\- Well, you didn't explain anything, what was I suppose to think-  
\- Not that I planned to do suicide ! Murder, at a push, that would at least have been more likely and- Wait. You were thinking I was going to erase myself and you still gave it to me ??  
\- I didn't think you would do that on the spot, obviously. I supposed you thought it preferable to what they would do to you if they found out about the Arrangment... Don't give me that look, you were planning to steal it anyway, what else should I-  
\- I don't know, like try and stop me ?! Isn't suicide a sin or something ? Did you gave up because I'm already damned anyway ?  
\- What- I didn't _gave up_ , Crowley ! I just- I- How do you think I felt ?! I wanted to respect your will and I wanted you to _not die_ , have you any idea how agonizing it was all this time ?  
\- I... Actually no, I have no idea... You- you never brought it up again after that ! I mean, the world ended on us, I thought we were past the whole not-speaking-to-each-other. Why didn't you just _tell me_ at some point...?  
\- I- That just felt... raw for so long, and then you used it for something else so... I just wanted to forget about it, I think.  
\- ...In retrospect, that sheds light on a lot of things you said.  
\- What do you mean ?  
\- We're not friends, I don't even like you, that kind of things. Makes more sense if you were lashing out because of that, I suppose.  
\- I wasn't... lashing out, exactly, more like... trying to...  
\- Keep me at bay so it wouldn't hurt if I went and killed myself ?  
\- ...When you put it like that, it sounds rather silly.  
\- This whole thing was silly. I can't believe I didn't realize.  
\- No... No, you are right, I should have said something.  
\- Next time, please do.  
\- Aaaand here comes dessert ! Enjoy !  
\- ...  
\- ...Thank you kindly.  
\- You're welcome !  
\- ...Since that whole conversation got pear-shaped anyway, do you want half of my pie ?  
\- Oh, that's nice of you. Here, have some of that crème brûlée.  
\- Don't call me nice.  
\- Well, you said so yourself : nobody is watching us anymore.  
\- I'm gonna take that half back.  
\- Too late.  
Aziraphale happily took a bite of the pie ; Crowley chuckled fondly.


End file.
